“Everything would be so much better if only you would change.” We’ve all said it, or at the very least, thought it.

Licensed therapists Drs. Ron and Mary Hulnick have created a two-year masters degree program in spiritual psychology at the University of Santa Monica. They ask “Are you willing to consider the possibility that trying to fix or change your partner never works?

Changing a partner never works. Well then, how about working on the one person you CAN greatly influence? You!

After all, while you may have some degree of influence over your partner’s choices, you have absolutely no control over the thoughts, beliefs, feelings and attitudes, which underlie their behavior.”

Changing a partner never works. Well then, how about working on the one person you CAN greatly influence? You! The four keys are intended to empower YOU to make a positive difference in your relationship, not for you to share with your partner in the hope that he will change!

Personally, while I’m not a “spiritual psychology” kind of guy, being a good listener, being grateful for your partner, doing small things for your partner, and keeping your word are easy, commonsense pieces of advice that focus on being a better person yourself – instead of perpetually complaining that your man isn’t good enough. If you’re a great partner, and he’s not good enough, dump him. Chances are, however, that both of you can stand to improve your self-awareness when it comes to how you come across in dating…

Read the four keys here and share your thoughts below.