Is dating advice for women different from dating advice for men? Yes and no. The basics remain the same—it’s the details that vary due to some biological differences.
Below you will find some dating tips for women that will hopefully help you attract the person you want to date—and keep them. Bear in mind though, that by the end of the day you guys need to match. No matter how great you are at flirting, communicating and building great relationships, you also need a genuine connection. We’ll cover some of that in our dating tips for women as well!
1. Create an Attractive Online Dating Profile
If you use online dating sites and apps (and you should if you want to meet a large number of people quickly—but you should also get out there and meet people if possible), then a great online dating profile is a must.
First of all, include photos. And make those photos good quality—have a nice close-up of your face, one full body pic, and a couple of pictures that show you doing things you love (be that surfing, or cooking). Social proof helps too—i.e. photos where you’re spending time with friends.
Most men (and women) decide whether they like a dating profile, or not, based on the photos. By showing clear images of your face and body, as well as showing some of your life and personality, you’re more likely to find matches. What’s more, you’re more likely to find the right matches.
Of course, a bio is also important. Even if it’s just three lines, it will help a man decide whether you’re worth his time, or not. Make it short and catchy and focus on the positive. I.e. if you want to avoid men looking for open relationships, don’t go on about how you dislike open relationships and cheating. Just say you’re looking for a fun-filled monogamous relationship. You want to always state things in the positive.
Don’t be scared of adjectives and descriptive language—it helps jazz things up. A “fun-filled relationship,” “a playful man,” “a man with his wits about him,” “I love a cozy night by a sizzling hot fire,” and so forth can make your profile all that more interesting.
If you aren’t up for the task of choosing the photos or writing the bio, get help from some friends of yours.
2. Fill Your Diary with Purpose and Dates
One of the biggest mistakes women make is getting attached too quickly. They meet a man, they’re swept off their feet by the attraction and they hover by their phone, waiting for the next text.
To avoid this, and to make yourself appear a lot more interesting, fill your diary with things that matter to you. Friends, volunteering, gym/physical activities, work stuff, family, outings, workshops, community activities and so forth. You want to lead a great life to attract a great man (or woman, but for the purpose of this article, we’ll stick to a man to keep things simple—please don’t be offended if you prefer the ladies!).
Plus, when you feel fulfilled, you’re much less likely to be swept off your feet by someone who isn’t all that great. You’re already happy so you won’t swoon when an attractive guy makes contact. If you’re bored, on the other hand, chances are you will fill your head with daydreams of how great the guy is—before you have any idea if this is the case.
3. Show That You Care
When dating someone, show that you’re paying attention to what they are saying. Remember the details, so that when it comes time to suggest a date night or buy them a gift, you know what they’d like. You know because you’ve asked questions and actually listened to the answers.
It’s easy to be so carried away by attraction that you forget what the person in front of you are saying—while they are talking about their last vacation you are imagine the next one you’ll go on. Together. Or you’ll be thinking about your reply. Or be busy trying to “figure them out.” Stop all that and just listen.
Pay attention to what they’re really saying and ask questions to find out who they truly are.
4. Remember the Small Stuff
If he says that he loves pasta, suggest an Italian restaurant next time when you go out, saying, “I know you love pasta, so why don’t we go to an Italian restaurant?” He will feel flattered that you remembered what he enjoys. It shows you’re willing to put some effort into dating him.
The same goes for remembering other details so that you can show you care—whether it is when buying a gift, suggesting a date night, or simply cleaning up after yourself when visiting his house as you know he’s a neat freak. [Read: Romantic Good Morning Messages]
5. Figure Out If You’re a Match on ALL Levels
There are five ways in which you can match:
- Sexually (what you like in bed)
- Physically (looks/body)
On top of that, there are life goals that need to complement each other. If he wants to live in Paris and you want to live in Rome, it won’t work out in the long run. Likewise, if he wants ten kids and you want none, there will be a huge issue.
When you first meet someone, you might feel incredibly attracted to them emotionally as they get you and support you. Maybe you’re having a rough patch and they are a shoulder to lean on—seemingly understanding you perfectly. Or you might feel floored by physical attraction and get swept away in a surge of attraction. Whatever it is, it feels like you’re on cloud nine and all you want is another little slice of time with this person.
Then there’s the relationship itself. Many a great man is terrible at relationships. Someone who is incredibly intelligent, kind, and physically attractive may have no idea how to create a good relationship. Or, maybe all that matters to him is his career—he’s completely aloof. A great guy, but he’d be a disaster to get involved with. If he wants to learn how to create a great relationship, then it’s fine, but if not… [Read: Awesome! 100 Reasons Why I Love You]
Don’t be fooled. Take your time to get to know someone and figure out if you’re a match on all levels before you get yourself too involved.
6. Control Your Attachment Levels
One way not to get too attached before you properly get to know someone is, as mentioned, to fill your diary with important things.
Another thing that’s important, is to keep pursuing other dates until you go exclusive with someone. Even if a guy doesn’t seem perfect on his Tinder profile, go for a date. By saying yes to people whom you wouldn’t normally date, not only will you be too busy dating to worry about the one guy, you might also very well meet someone whom you normally wouldn’t. Which, in turn, might mean meeting someone who is a much better match.
Lastly, when you’ve just started dating someone, remember that they are less important than your friends, family, goals, work, and so forth. You only just met them! Their text can wait for a response till you have finished a task at work, had a drink with a friend, or hit the gym. Once you get into a conversation over text, reply immediately, of course. But don’t drop everything to reply to the one text. Prioritize yourself and what’s important in your life.
The same goes when scheduling dates—this new guy is not more important than your other commitments. In fact, until he proves himself a great guy all round he is less important. Relationships take time to be built, so take your time getting to know him before you start seeing stars.
7. Be Upfront
There’s no point beating around the bush. Find out if they’re looking for casual dating, friends with benefits, or a relationship. And share what you’re after. Also make it clear that you don’t know if the two of you will be a fit for it until you get to know them properly. Make it crystal clear that you’re not someone who will throw yourself at their feet—if they want to be with you they have to work for it, just as you’ll work to catch and keep their attention.
Also, if they say they don’t want a relationship, take their word for it. Getting yourself emotionally involved with the wrong person won’t end well. And chances of you converting them to wanting a relationship are slim. Only have as much contact as you can handle without falling head over heels if you still want to keep them in your life. [Read: OMG! 7 WARNING Signs Your Wife is Cheating You]
8. Compliment Him
Make it your goal to ensure he knows what you like about him. His personality, his looks, the things he does for you that you enjoy and anything else you can think of to compliment. He wants to know that you find him hot, that you enjoy his personality, that you appreciate what he does for you, that what he does in the bedroom pleases you, and so forth. He will feel like a king if you express these things in words.
Don’t compliment him on everything every day—but keep the compliments coming. Be that one a day, or one every other day.
This is particularly important as things “cool off” after the initial period of dating. Making him feel great will help reinforce the bond between the two of you.
9. Positive Reinforcement
Speaking of reinforcement—if you want him to do something, then praise him when he does it. Don’t nag when he doesn’t do it—just explain what you want (such as that at your place he places the laundry in the laundry bin, not on the floor) and why it’s important to you (a messy house makes you feel like you can’t relax). When he does what’s asked, thank him profusely. Preferably with a hug, or kiss, or simply a pat on the arm as well as in words. This will make him a lot more likely to do what’s asked.
10. Keep Things Interesting
When you first meet someone you like and who likes you back, you’ll be high on hormones. Literally. Scientists have proven it’s akin to taking cocaine. To stay sane, as mentioned, it’s important to keep busy. Likewise, to balance your hormones you can try exercising and following it with eating carbs together with the required protein. This will keep your brain chemistry in check. Do the same once the honeymoon period is over—exercising, listening to music, eating well and spending time outdoors can help raise your feel-good chemicals.
What’s more, once the initial high dissipates, you’ll want to do other things that help the two of you feel you’re made for each other. Trying new experiences together helps keep things fresh. Suggesting something new in the bedroom might also help. You might also want to try experiences that bring about an adrenaline rush. [Read: How to Tell Someone You’re Not Interested After a Couple of Dates]
By keeping things fresh you avoid feeling like things stagnate. Likewise, keep up with your own life. You need to feel fulfilled in your life at large, or you’ll keep looking for a “fix” to feel better.
11. Learn the Five Love Languages
Once your relationship progresses, check out Gary Chapman’s five love languages. As it turns out, people feel loved by different things. For example, you might feel more loved when you receive a gift than when you receive a hug. Your partner, on the other hand, might feel loved when you spend quality time with him.
According to Chapman the love languages humans have are:
- Acts of Service
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
You can take a quiz on his site to find out what yours and your partner’s love languages are.
12. Talk About the Troubles
If you have an issue with something in the relationship, say so. Also, take responsibility for the fact that you might have responded to it unfavorably. While your partner should aim to be on time for date nights, how you respond to him being late is up to you. And chances are if he’s late for everything, it’s a habit. He’s not purposefully trying to hurt you, or piss you off. That doesn’t mean you can’t tell him that if he’s more than ten minutes late, you’ll leave. But you can do so without degrading him, or throwing your anger and hurt at him.
Explain what bothers you and share your feelings around it, but don’t throw those emotions in your partner’s face. Share from the heart, not the hurt. This is the essential and important dating tip for women in a relationship.
Bear this in mind when breaking it off with someone, too. If you meet someone for one date and don’t wish to see them again, you have no obligation to tell them so unless you’re already friends. But if you’ve been on a couple of dates and you feel the chemistry isn’t there, then be upfront about it. Don’t ghost people. It’s disrespectful and shows that you don’t know how to communicate properly. Tell them it was nice meeting them, but you can’t see things going further. Thank them for their time. And if you want to stay friends, suggest meeting up soon and follow up on that—if they want you to.
13. Make It Sexy
The difference between a friendship and relationship is physical attraction. And, of course, a desire to share your lives. However, without that physical desire, things will peter out.
Show a willingness to flirt. That doesn’t mean jumping in bed with someone, just start building sexual tension. That can be done by showing them you’re checking them out when you see them, holding hands, kissing, and sending sexy texts. For example, you can tell them good night, and mention that you’ll be thinking about them when going to sleep and add a wink at the end. You can also play with innuendo in other ways, such as letting them know when you’re about to have a shower. If they then take things too far, you can say, “Hey Mister, hold your horses. Let’s experience some things in real life before we talk about them over text…” That way you can ensure you don’t take things further than what you’re comfortable with. [Read: 70 Best Tinder Pickup Lines for Guys & Girls That Really Work]
14. Stop Interpreting “the Signs”
What did it mean when he said he’s looking for a relationship but want to take things slow? Why does he text every day and then take a five day break? Is he truly ready for a relationship? Does him seeing his ex mean he’s just friends with her or that he’s still hanging on for other reasons? If he introduces you to his parents, does it mean he’s serious about your relationship?
The answer to all the above depends on the man you’re dating. Each person is different. The easiest way to know what something means is to ask. Ask him flat out what it means. Or, well, you don’t have to ask him if taking you to see his parents means he’s serious—just ask if he is serious about your relationship.
15. Ask for What You Want
He’s not a mind reader. The only way to get what you want is to ask for it. After dating for a while, ask how he sees a relationship. What does the ideal week look like when sharing life with someone? The ideal weekend? What is he looking for? Then explain what you expect. That way, you won’t feel neglected when he chooses to spend some weekends with friends (as he sees having your own lives as an important part of a healthy relationship). By sharing your expectations, you know how to satisfy one another, as well as where compromise will be needed.
This goes for the small things too. If you want gifts you appreciate, talk to him about gifts. What would you like for Christmas, anniversaries, Valentine’s and so forth? Hinting that you prefer experiences over roses isn’t necessarily going to lead to him taking you to a spa instead of buying you roses. You really have to hammer it home that you do NOT want flowers. Your favorite gifts are experiences—date nights, weekends at a spa, road trips, a day spent doing something romantic together. Explain it properly.
Of course, if you want the actual gifts to be a surprise, just discuss it in general terms—don’t say, “I want a weekend at a spa.”
The same applies to date nights. If you prefer dinner at home to a swanky night out, or you prefer a good hike to the movies, then you have to say so. And remember: hinting doesn’t always work. Clear communication does.
Be mindful of what he says, too. If finances are his primary concern, no matter how much he loves you he won’t treat you to a gift at Tiffany’s. He will find a bargain diamond somewhere else. And that does not reflect on how much he cares, but what his values are. He’d rather save the money so the two of you can be safe later in life.
The two of you need to find a way forward that appeals to you both—and that means you need to talk about it.