Some people enjoy the thrill of having affairs. Others simply find that they’re in a place in their relationship or marriage where leaving isn’t possible, so an affair is the only option. Thanks to the Internet and online dating services, this is more common than people realize, and it's a lot easier to date a married woman than you might think.
For starters, take the time to consider if this is truly what you want—are you sure you don’t want to date single women or try to find someone that isn’t already attached? If you’re certain, here’s what you need to know.
Always Go Somewhere
You cannot safely have an affair with a married woman in her home, or yours if you’re also married. It’s important to stay out of this space, both out of respect and for the sake of common sense—it’s the easiest way to get caught. Go to a hotel or get a motel somewhere. Consider meeting at a mutual friend’s place or go out when you get together. Whatever you do, have a dedicated space for your affair to keep the discretion high. And when it comes to renting rooms, cash only and no names. Trust us.
Don’t Be Her “Revenge” Date
Married women have different intentions and reasons for seeking out affairs. Make sure that you’re only getting involved with those who have healthy intentions. If a woman is dating or cheating to get revenge on her husband, you don’t want to be a part of that mess. It will never end well. If you aren’t sure, it’s safe to flat-out ask. Sure, it might be confrontational, but you’re already having an affair—you might as well keep it real.
Make sure that you’re dating women who are looking for fun, or perhaps even looking for love when they’re in a situation where they can’t leave their current relationship just yet. When you meet a married woman interested in having an affair for fun or affection, it will be much more enjoyable.
Physical Evidence is Bad
You should leave no trace of your relationship. Keep a change of clothes so her perfume doesn’t end up on your suit jacket or her lipstick on your collar. Make sure that you don’t do gifts or physical item sharing because that’s going to require an explanation. Never assume that something will be ignored in the trash—throw all evidence out elsewhere, not at home. [Read: OMG! 7 WARNING Signs Your Wife is Cheating You]
It can be tempting to want to share things and commemorate events. unfortunately, when you’re dating a married woman in an affair relationship, you’ll need to keep it to a minimum when it comes to physical gifts and showing appreciation. If gifts start piling up someone’s going to start asking questions.
Same with Writing—Keep Communication Untraceable
Again, you don’t want to get found out because you left them in your text thread by their actual name. Make sure that you’re covert about communication and that you can keep it from being traced. Today, there are a lot of different messaging platforms that you can use anonymously—rely on those for the utmost stealth when you’re in the market for an affair. [Read: Being the Third in a Polyamorous Relationship]
Make Sure You’re On the Same Page
Nothing is worse than realizing months into an affair that you have different wants or expectations out of the relationship than the other person. If you’re dating married women looking for fun, know that from the outset. Have an honest communication about what you are both seeking and what you expect from this relationship, as well as what kind of boundaries you have. That way, you will ensure that everyone agrees on the terms and is aware of what to expect moving forward. And speaking of expectations, let’s talk about that next.
Have Realistic Expectations
You need to ensure that your expectations are realistic with your affair. It’s not likely that it will be some storybook romance or torrid romance novel, but the chances are good that you can have a good time dating a married woman if you want to experience it. Just remember to have the talk about boundaries and make sure that you know exactly what you want (and what you don’t) so that you can proceed accordingly. [Read: 10 Best Polyamorous Relationship Rules ]
Nothing is worse than assuming that you know what you want or thinking that you’re going to find the woman of your dreams when she’s only looking for a good time. It’s going to be important to keep your expectations realistic so that you don’t get disappointed or hurt before you even get started.
No Credit Cards, Either
Everything needs to be cash. Don’t charge dinners unless you only buy yours and say you were out with a friend. Don’t buy her gifts on your rewards card—you can’t be greedy here. Use cash for everything and make sure that you can explain the spending if you need to. Make sure that she’s also avoiding the use of plastic and not using money that her hubby might miss. It’s up to both of you to keep from getting caught. [Read: 8 Best Places to Meet for Affairs for the First Time]
Try to Have a Beard
Sometimes, hiding in plain sight is the best way to get away with an affair. For example, if you’re all part of the same neighborhood and your kids go to school together, you’ll obviously run into this person and spend time with her—then you have less to explain away. Consider getting involved in a community group together or otherwise engaging so that you have a reason to see each other or spend time together. If not, find someone else who can cover for you so that there are fewer questions.
Discretion is of the utmost importance. The less attention you draw, the better. That’s why some of the best affairs take place between people who seem like they have the happiest marriages and home relationships. It’s about keeping a secret, after all, and the secret is easy to keep when you follow these tips.