Having an affair is a hot topic these days, and it’s a lot more common than some people realize. Online dating and hookup apps (like ashleymadison.com and adultfriendfinder.com) have made it even easier than ever for people to have affairs with men who are already married. People cheat for any number of reasons, and many do it quite successfully. Of course, there are a lot of guidelines that can help if you’re in love with a married man, thanks to those who have done it and are happy to share their thoughts.
A lot of articles out there will start by discussing the moral ramifications of having an affair but honestly, we’re all adults and that is information that you have to reconcile and something that you’ll have to decide for yourself. We’re not here to judge; we simply want to make sure that you have all of the tools and resources that you need to make the right decisions about your affair dating.
First, you should take advantage of the Internet and digital platforms that allow discretion. This has enhanced how easy it can be to have an affair these days. Of course, it’s still not foolproof and you’ll need to think about things to ensure that you’ve got a solid plan so that no one gets hurt.
Here are the eight rules that you need to know when you’re considering dating a married man or having an affair with.
How to date a married man successfully?
Rule 1 – Tell No One
As tempting as it can be to want to discuss all the sultry details of falling in love with a married man with your best friend, don’t do it. The best way to get away with an affair is to not talk about it. It’s really that simple. Keep it between you and the married man that you’re seeing. Make sure that he’s on the same page about that. The fewer people that know, the less risk that their spouse (or yours) will find out about the affair. [Read: 10 Best Polyamorous Relationship Rules]
Rule 2 – Set Boundaries
This is an affair. Is it something you will accept turning into a long-term relationship or are you just having a little fun? Make sure that you set out boundaries from the start so that no one gets disappointed and things don’t go too far. What is “too far” for you? That’s what you’ll have to decide. You can decide this on your own or with your partner if you’re already in the middle of an affair.
Rule 3 – Keep it Simple
Of course, the best way to date a married man and have an affair is to keep it simple and fun. That’s what it is for, after all, isn’t it? Think about why you want to have an affair in the first place. You’re probably not looking for the love of your life. If you are, consider dating singles or leaving your partner before diving into dating. If you’re just in a situation where you want a little fun or want to try something different, it’ll be much more enjoyable if you keep it simple and straightforward. [Read: SisterWives.com Gets the Polygamy Dating Into Swinging]
Rule 4 – Stealth Communication
When you’re communicating, keep it private. Don’t store their name and number on your phone and don’t leave their messages accessible. Create a secure folder for pictures or simply get rid of all evidence (we’ll talk about that in a minute). Find messenger platforms to chat on and save them in your phone as something inconspicuous, but that your partner also wouldn’t find out about. It can be fun if you do it right, but make sure that you keep it covert. Don’t call their work. Don’t call their house. It’s not a good idea.
Rule 5 – Nothing in Writing
Write nothing down. No cards, no love letters, no reminders or dates—this person doesn’t exist and they can’t exist in your life in any written form. Sure, you’re missing out on some of the cutesy relationship stuff, but consider unique options like virtual cards or spending time together instead of giving gifts or sending notes. Use cell phones and disposable messaging platforms to your advantage here. [Read: How to Have an Affair with a Married Woman?]
Rule 6 – Have a Cover
If you’re dating a married man and you need to have a way to see them, get close to a brother or friend of theirs. This way, you have someone that you can “hang out with” and your spouse or partner won’t know that you’re actually seeing someone or sneaking around behind their back. Make sure the cover is believable, too, or you’ll just add suspicion and make yourself more of a risk to get caught.
Rule 7 – No Evidence
Keep a change of clothes elsewhere. Make sure that whatever you do with your affair, it doesn’t end up on the clothes you come home in. If you ordered takeout while your husband was out of town, get rid of the evidence before he comes home or send it home with your lover. There should be no trace of a relationship for anyone to find. As we mentioned above, evidence is nice for the sake of memories but it’s also the easiest way to get caught when you’re having an affair—just don’t do it. [Read: 8 Best Places to Meet for Affairs for the First Time]
Rule 8 – Not at Home
The safest way to have an affair with a married man (or woman) is to ensure that you’re not engaging in activities or even getting together at one another’s homes. Meet in hotels, at restaurants, and in the next town over just to be safe. Make sure that you have a dedicated space where you can meet. This may cost a little more, but what’s the real price of having an affair here?
If you’re set on dating a married man to have an affair or otherwise cheating on your spouse, these tips should help you ensure that you don’t get caught and enjoy a good relationship with someone even if your current relationship isn’t great. If you’re the “other woman”, of course, you’ll want to have realistic expectations and know what you are getting from this relationship so that you don’t get your hopes up or get in over your head.