Dating in your thirties can be fun, but it can also be challenging. Especially if you feel a bit lost to the whole dating scene. So let’s have a look at the things that will make your dating experience better.
It’s Not Too Late
Whether you've been on the dating scene for what seems like forever, or you just found out that your true love wasn’t all that true—it’s not too late. It’s not too late to find lasting love. Nor is it too late for casual dating, if that’s what you’re looking for.
Your thirties are just like your twenties—only better. Yes, you may have more wrinkles, but you also have more life experience. Chances are, several areas of your life are better now than in your twenties. Maybe you are more confident. Have more friends. Have more money. Know yourself better. Have better social skills. And if not? Now’s your chance—your shot at starting over and turning your life into what you truly want it to be like.
Figure out what you want when it comes to life and dating, then go after it.
Dating in Your 30s as a Woman—The First Tip for Success
Being successful at dating in your thirties start with you. Set a goal for what you want your life to look like—not in six months, but right now. How do you want to be spending your time? Improving work skills? Exercising at the gym? Taking classes in Spanish? Learning pottery? Attending weekend workshops in yoga? Attending concerts and festivals? Shopping more at the farmer’s market? Having coffees with your friends? Meditating?
Whatever it is you want to do to be happy, fill your diary with it. If you are raising children, see what days you can get a babysitter and fill those days with things you enjoy. The other days, try to find things both you and the kids enjoy—including, of course, time to just chill at home.
Once you have a diary that makes you happy, you’re ready to look for dates. Because your life shouldn’t revolve around your dates, but rather, your dates should be fitted into your life. You will be a lot more attractive and you will avoid hanging around waiting for a text from some flaky person to make you happy.
What Do You Want?
Are you after a casual relationship, or a long term relationship? What are the “musts” in a relationship for you? What’s does a functional relationship mean to you? Do you want kids? Are you happy to move if you meet someone further afield?
You need to figure out what it is you want—even if it’s casual dating, decide on what exactly you’re after.
If you’re unsure, read some books on relationships, such as The Five Love Languages, The Mastery of Love, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, The Way of the Superior Man, Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, and Receiving Love: Transform Your Relationships by Letting Yourself Be Loved. There are so many great books out there.
Socialize on Your Terms
We’re all different. While online dating is by far the easiest way to meet a lot of singles, some people prefer doing only face-to-face dating. However, to increase your chances of meeting lots of nice people—one whom you might fall in love with—attending both social events and doing online dating is recommended.
You can easily join Meetup groups near you, as well as sign up for local classes and workshops. Helping a charity or doing some other form of volunteer work is another way of meeting new people. Furthermore, there are networking events and speed dating events in most cities.
As for doing online dating, have a look around to find out what dating apps/sites would work best for you. There are sites dedicated to serious relationships and sites dedicated to casual dating. Some sites have stricter privacy policies than others. Some verify their members. Some offer video chatting. Some have interesting profile options. Choose what’s important for you. Most sites are free to sign up to, so have a browse before you commit.
Create a Great Profile
If you go online, be sure to upload some nice photos of yourself. Not ten selfies, but photos that show you enjoying your life—doing things you’re passionate about. Include some close ups where others can see your face.
Create a nice bio, too. You can make it fun by using simple statements: “Great at flipping pancakes, but can’t bake bread. Love traveling, but still have to see Thailand. Enjoy getting my hands dirty in the garden and my high heels dirty on the dance floor.” Keep it simple but show people your personality. Avoid trite statements—most people enjoy going out and staying in on a Saturday night. Make it interesting. Read other peoples’ profiles to see what stands out to you.
Step Up the Conversation
“How are you?” and “How was your day?” won’t lead to interesting conversations. Whether online through messages or face-to-face when on a date, ask open ended questions. Ask about peoples’ interests and passions. Ask their opinions on movies they love and songs they enjoy. Ask why the things that matter to them, matter to them.
Whether you want to experience more romance, or more wild date than in your twenties, realize that it’s possible. Also, realize that you will have some horrible dates, too. Some people who seem like fun online will be boring offline. Some people may be rude. It’s part of the journey. Don’t see it as failure—accept it and see the fun in it! Life’s a rom com.