64 Clever & Flirty Text Comebacks to Keep the Conversation Fun

Imagine receiving a text that seems difficult to reply to. Perhaps the texter is petty, annoying, stupid, or rude. Whatever attitude they bring to the chat, you surely want to reciprocate with similar energy. After all, every action triggers an equal reaction.

Coming up with the perfect reply surely involves some creativity and shuffling of your entire vocabulary in search of the right words. But not everyone is comfortable with thinking on their feet. Nevertheless, you can always come up with a good idea by memorizing some standard comeback examples.

What Is A Text Comeback

A text comeback is a reply characterized by quick and inventive verbal humor. People often use comebacks as revenge after they’ve been insulted, abused, or received a dry text.

A great comeback is a blow that hits harder than the first punch, restores your confidence, and puts you in the spotlight of the conversation. It’s a more interesting way to answer or dismiss a bully instead of entertaining an argument. If you got ghosted there’s responses for that too.

Why Use Texting Comebacks?

How are these texting comebacks in your best interest? Firstly they show that you’re confident and not a pleaser. So whoever is on the other end will not try to get manipulative with you since you have your own standards. On the contrary, you’ll be able to get into their heads without them knowing it.

Also, when you answer with quick-witted comebacks, you show that you’re incredibly charismatic. It’s a sign of social intelligence and that’s a whole new level of attractiveness. Lastly, comebacks are your ultimate verbal defence mechanism on the internet, where cyberbullying and hate speech are the order of the day. When you use the right text comeback to win such conversations, you show that you will not be intimidated or afraid to stand up for yourself.

Without further ado, let’s explore this list of witty, funny, and flirty comebacks.

Text Comebacks for When You Are Called Annoying

1. Well, opinions vary.
2. I’m well aware that I am not everyone’s cup of tea. I’d rather be a shot of tequila anyway!
3. Really? And I wasn’t even trying too hard!
4. I hear there’s a new app called Sense of Humor. Download it, bitch!
5. Funny, I was just thinking the same about you.
6. I didn’t mean to push your buttons. I was just looking for mute.
7. Well, regardless, I like you.
8. Go play with your toys, little one.

Text Comebacks When Someone Asks if You’re Single

1. I am happily self-partnered.
2. Name one married superhero. *silence* Exactly!
3. I’m currently in a committed relationship with myself.
4. Not anymore, now that you’re here.
5. No. I’m in a relationship with food.
6. No, I’m double.
7. I am looking for someone compatible.
8. We tried, but it didn’t work out.
9. I don’t have an identical twin if that’s what you’re asking.
10. Wait, is this you breaking up with me?
11. No, I’m an album.
12. If you want to apply as my boyfriend/girlfriend, send your cover letter and resume to my email address.

Text Comebacks for When You’re Called Fat

1. I know you are trying to pick on me, but you will have to try harder.
2. Yeah, I’m not surprised because a tiny body can’t fit all my outstanding personalities. I can’t say the same about you, though.
3. Things expand when they heat. I’m HOT! It’s my summer body, you see.
4. I noticed that too. Don’t you have anything better to do?
5. Your constant fixation with my body makes me think you either want me or want to be me.
6. I hear there is a new book on sale called “Minding Your Business” . You should get it.
7. “Fat” is a temporary caloric imbalance, but “stupid” is a permanent genetic malfunction.
8. If I just made you feel uncomfortable, it would seem my work here is done.

Text Comebacks for an Ex Who Won’t Stop Texting You

1. I’m fine, but I don’t care to talk to you.
2. You look 100 per cent better when I can’t see you.
3. You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now.
4. I don’t make mistakes; I date them.
5. You might still want me, but you’ll have to get in line.
6. Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But then I flushed it, and it came out of the loo.
7. Good luck finding someone who will put up with your bullshit as well as I did.
8. How am I supposed to forget you when every time I go out, I see things that remind me of you, like garbage bins and dog shit.
9. Accepting you back into my life is like going to a garage sale and buying back my own crap!
10. I already have some trash in the bin; I don’t need more.

Text Comebacks for When a Random Dude Asks for Nudes

1. Use your imagination.
2. Maybe if you send some first.
3. No, but when my playboy contract comes through, you can buy the magazine.
4. Sorry, we’re closed. Please come back later.
5. I’ll forward this to my dad, and you can try asking him for some.
6. Has this ever worked for you?
7. There are plenty of naked girls on the internet you can look at.
8. They say life is full of disappointment. I guess I can add this conversation to that list.

Text Comebacks for When You’re Called Ugly

1. Anyone can cover ugly up, but you can’t photoshop your ugly personality.
2. If your heart were half as cute as my face, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.
3. It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.
4. That makes two of us. Fortunately, my mouth is leaking like yours.
5. Maybe you should eat makeup to try and be pretty on the inside.
6. Yeah, I was trying to look like you today.
7. Sorry honey, I’m not your mirror.
8. I’m sorry; either my face is a mirror, or you’re looking in the wrong direction.
9. Thanks for the comment, but I would pick an ugly face over a shallow personality any day.

Text Comebacks for When Someone Says Shut Up

1. Make Me.
2. I can’t. That would give you too much time to talk crap.
3. Does the truth hurt?
4. I have the right to remain silent but not the ability.
5. I’m not really good at that.
6. Kids should wait for their turn. The adults are speaking.
7. Oh Okay. I didn’t mean to intimidate you with my wisdom/humor.
8. Great advice; why don’t you demonstrate to me how that works?
9. Why? Is it because I’m uttering words you’re not smart enough to understand?

Conclusion

The trick behind witty comebacks is speed. When someone tries to hurt your own ego. Be prepared to hit back immediately with no warning label in between. Laugh it off as it comes. If you think about the insult for a moment, you’ll likely get mad and let it ruin your mood for the rest of the week. But defending yourself immediately will help you remain confident and protect your ego.

A dating app rewards positive interaction. So, on Tinder, you have further incentive to keep yourself from stooping to their level. Use these lines to lay the smackdown and leave.

Move on to your next match, use a funny opener, and hopefully you get the number and know how to text them after you get it!