How to Get Your Wife to Have a Threesome

Do you want to have a threesome, but aren’t sure how to introduce the topic to your wife? Or is she on the fence about it and you’d like to convince her to have a threesome? Read on to get some tips about how to get your partner to have a threesome and how to find threesome partners.

It’s Her Choice

You can get your wife curious about threesomes by introducing the topic in a manner that makes it more enticing to her. Maybe she’s already curious, or maybe she’s never considered it but now sees it in a new light. Whatever way around, you can definitively talk about it in an enticing manner. You can, however, not coerce her into having a threesome. If she’s hesitant about it and goes along just because she knows you want to do it, it can ruin your sex life, even your relationship with her.

So how do you introduce the topic of a threesome?

Let’s Talk About Sex

Just saying, “I want to have a threesome” is likely not going to get you far, not unless you already have a dialogue going. So, are you already talking to your wife about your sex life? Do you both openly talk about what you enjoy? Praise one another when the other did something that turned you on, or was especially hot in the bedroom?

If not, that’s the best way to start. Make her feel comfortable. Make her feel desired. Compliment her in every day life, too—not just about her looks and how attractive she is, but her personality and the things she does that make you happy. This will make her feel safe with you and, also, feel appreciated on an emotional level.

Once she knows you desire her (and no, just being married won’t make someone feel desired), you can start talking to her about things you’d like to try in the bedroom. Start small. Be that something like suggesting a sexcation—a second honeymoon (even if it’s just a two-day getaway), or a new position in bed. Get a dialogue going over coming months about things you want to try out and things she want to try out, all along making her feel desired because you already love what she does to you.

Then, after all that (and that could take months, or it could be that you’re already doing all the above), you can introduce the topic of a threesome. [Read: How to Sext with Random Strangers]

How to Introduce the Topic of a Threesome

If you’re married, it’s important that you introduce the topic of a threesome in a manner that makes your partner feel appreciated. “Have you ever fantasized about having a threesome?” She may say yes, she may say no. But get the conversation going. Maybe you dream about a pool party gone astray, maybe you dream about someone who could seduce the both of you. Whatever it is, make her feel included. You don’t just want to see another woman, or man, naked, or have them please you, you want a shared experience with your wife where she gets as excited as you do. This is important, because otherwise she might feel that she alone is not enough.

Set the Boundaries

You need to discuss with your wife what you both want out of the experience. Should the third (or the unicorn as that person is usually referred to), have full-blown sex with you both, or are there certain boundaries? The experience can be whatever you like it to be—maybe you just want the third watch you having sex while pleasing themselves. It’s all up to you. [Read: 8 Signs You’re Falling for Them]

How to Find Threesome Partners

First of all, when looking for a threesome partner, you’re looking for someone to share an experience with you. It should be their sexual fantasy as much as yours. You want them to be as excited as you are. If they feel objectified in any way, they won’t join you. Or the experience will become awkward. So look for someone who is looking for you, if that makes sense.

Secondly, decide if you’re to look online and offline, or in both places.

A good place to find a third offline is swing parties, as well as parties hosted by the polyamorous community.

Online, you can sign up as a couple on regular dating apps, like Tinder. You can also join dating apps that are more geared toward sexual encounters, such as Ashley Madison (and yes, they cater to couples looking for a third, and not just people looking for affairs) and Adult Friend Finder. There are lots of apps that are specifically designed for people looking for threesomes, but the larger sites like Find Your Threesome and Adult Friend Finder that cater to all sorts of sexual encounters have a much bigger user base.

Once you’ve found someone you like, meet up for a cocktail somewhere and see if the right vibe is there for going home together.