When it comes to dating, too many people worry about whether their dates will like them—if you’re confident and change your mindset to “I wonder if I will like them,” you’ll notice that you’re attracting better people than you were in the past. Of course, what if there’s a specific man or type of man that you want to attract? You can do that, so long as you know how to make him want you (AKA what they’re looking for).
The dating scene is a lot different than it used to be, and yet in several ways, it hasn’t changed at all. You still need to let him chase you, which is the first rule of making them want you. If you are too available, it’s not attractive. Make him work for it and show him what a valuable catch you are. And while you’re at it, keep the rest of these tips in mind, too.
Tip 1: Feed the Ego
It never hurts to stroke his ego a little bit. Tell him how witty he is, how handsome, how intellectual—you can even suggest that he’s probably good in bed if you want to be a little more forward. Whatever you do, make sure you give his ego a boost so that he’ll want to spend more time with you.
Tip 2: Send Photos
We’re not talking about explicit pictures here—just regular ones. It never hurts to share photos with him throughout the day, even if it’s just a selfie of you with your coffee, or an adorable picture you took of your puppy the night before. Thinking of him and taking the time to send him the photos will let him know that you’re interested in letting him into your world.
Tip 3: Show Interest in His Hobbies
Just like you want someone to be interested in the things you like, men also want women who are interested in their hobbies. You don’t have to become a car expert or an award-winning angler, but at least listen and engage with him when he’s talking about the things that he’s into. Disinterest is a huge turn-off for most guys. [Read: Amazing Tips for Dating in Your 30s as a Woman]
Tip 4: A Little Perfume Goes a Long Way
Scent is a very strong attractant for some. The body’s own pheromones do some of the work, but you can accentuate them with a little bit of perfume. Think about the man that you crossed paths with that one time that you will never forget because he smelled so amazing… if you can leave that kind of impression, you’ll be getting somewhere. Just remember not to overdo it because subtlety is best here.
Tip 5: Get in Shape
It’s not to say that men won’t like you unless you’re fit and active. However, when you’re in better shape, you automatically feel better about yourself, and you do look better. It’s not about losing weight or even being “skinny”. If you’re active, trying to be healthy, and taking care of yourself, men will notice. Plus, you’ll also be more confident when you feel better and that will attract plenty of new attention. [Read: Why Women Pull Away When Dating and How to Prevent It]
Tip 6: Make Him (a Little) Jealous
You don’t want to go overboard here or start playing games, by any means. However, a little healthy jealousy never hurt anyone. Make sure that you are confident and self-assured, and that you are the type of woman that everyone will always be a little jealous of. If he even gets jealous in the first place, you’ve got the clue that he likes you. That can often help you decide when and how to make a man want you and chase you by your move.
Tip 7: Get Your Mental Health in Shape
Again, men don’t want to date women who are a mess and who don’t have their lives together. No one is perfect, but if you spend your days being depressed and taking others down with you, men are going to avoid you as much as possible. If, however, you have a positive attitude and are healthily managing your mental health, you’ll find that you attract much better people and can get just about any man that you want. [Read: What to do After First Date With a Guy]
Tip 8: Show Off Your Happy Life
Men don’t want women who are miserable or who need another person to feel fulfilled. When men see that you have a happy, full life already, they will be much more attracted to you and interested in becoming part of that life. Don’t make things up, of course, but feel free to post about your adventures on Facebook, your kids, your career successes, or anything else that you want to share. Let people see that you’re loving life and make any man want to be a part of it.
Tip 9: Send Little Treats
If you’re dating, friends, or even just talking, sending treats is a great way to get his attention and let him know that you’re sweet on him (yep, he probably will like that pun, too). Take the time to find out what he likes and send little notes or treats to let him know you’re thinking of him. If you hear that he’s ill, for example, maybe send him a care package with soup and some of his favorite treats. [Read: Should You Stay in a Relationship without Trust]
Tip 10: Dress Up and Show Off
Sure, it’s easy to run to the store in your jeans and a t-shirt (or worse, your joggers and a shirt that looks more like a rag) when you just need some quick things, but imagine the potential people you could meet there. Looking nice isn’t just about attracting people, either. Take the time to spruce yourself up occasionally even for day-to-day errands and see how much more confident you feel and how many more men you attract.
These are just a few tips that you can use to make him want you, no matter who “he” is. Be yourself, be confident, and be more worried about whether you are enjoying his company, not the other way around. If you do that, you’ll be the object of desire for any many you want.