Make Friends with Benefits Dating Work for You: 8 Rules for Guys to Follow

Let’s be honest, the concept of friends with benefits dating is brilliant. You get to have sex, but neither of you has to deal with all of the other problems that so often stem from relationships. There is a lot of potential, but you always have to be careful. Below, we’ll be discussing some of the most important friends with benefits rules for guys.

Rule #1: Don’t Make It a Current Friend

This is rule number one because it’s likely the most important one… and the one that a lot of people make a mistake with. While the term friends with benefits suggest that you should hook up with one of your current friends, just think about the implications that could hold.

Not everyone is capable of separating sex and feelings. Even though you and your friend in the FWB relationship might not have deeper feelings for one another and even after you stop engaging in any sexual activities, it happened. This can make things awkward for future partners if you and the other person are still friends and hang out.

You might say that it’s just a “hang-up” of your new significant other. While that could be true, it’s also a fact that a lot of people would feel uncomfortable in this position. They might trust you, but it’s still odd for them.

Rule #2: Define the Relationship

You need to make sure that you and the other person are on board with what an FWB relationship means. It needs to be defined, and the rules may differ somewhat based on your prior experience with the person. If you were already platonic friends—which we already said can be difficult—you need to make sure that you make a list of boundaries and rules that both of you need to follow. You can’t skip this step.

If someone oversteps their bounds by getting jealous, for example, you should talk it out with the other person. Sometimes, it’s best to end the relationship at that point before it becomes a larger problem.

Rule #3: Clear Communication

Just as with any type of relationship, communication is important at the start of the relationship and throughout. If one of you starts to have feelings, it’s best to voice them and stop the relationship now if there isn’t mutual interest. Good communication can help to save just about any type of relationship.

Rule #4: She’s Not Your Girlfriend—Don’t Treat Her Like One

This is a friends with benefits relationship, not a real relationship where she’s your girlfriend. This means you shouldn’t treat her like one. Neither of you should be the one always paying for things. You shouldn’t go out for romantic meals or romantic vacations. That’s not what FWB dating is about.

Rule #5: You Still Need to Take Care of Yourself

Just because you have someone willing to have sex with you without being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have the freedom to give up on yourself. Basic grooming and self-care are still expected, so don’t forget them.

Rule #6: Don’t Introduce Her to Friends and Vice Versa

This ties in with Rule #4. She’s not your girlfriend, so you shouldn’t introduce her to your friends or family. She shouldn’t bring you around her family or friends either. It creates expectations where there shouldn’t be any.

Rule #7: No Cuddling

A lot of people like to get together and cuddle. It might be before or after sex, or just when hanging out to feel better and loved. Of course, this isn’t something you should do in an FWB dating arrangement. This has the potential to take things into relationship territory and it is one of friends with benefits rules for guys.

Rule #8: Practice Safe Sex

Regardless of how well you know one another and how clean you might think you both are, never engage in unsafe sex. The risks are too great. As a man, you should always be prepared with a condom. If you don’t have one, don’t have sex—simple as that.

Sites to Consider for FWB & Casual Dating

Do you like the idea of this sort of dating, but you don’t know any current friends that would be up for it—after all, it can be awkward to bring this up. What some people do instead is head to one of the friends with benefits website options available today to find people who might be interested.

This allows you to meet new people and make new friends who are interested in FWB dating. You won’t have to go through the awkwardness of talking with any of your current friends about it. This tends to be one of the best options because it means it’s a lot easier to break things off—you won’t have a shared history and shared friends in most cases.

AshleyMadison.com

Just about everyone has heard of this site. It has been around for a long time, and it makes no apologies about what it is. This is a site for people who want something a bit outside of the usual when it comes to an online connection. They aren’t looking for anything serious, which is why FWB dating works so well for this site. It’s also popular with those who are just looking for flings and affairs.

AdultFriendFinder.com

Considered the world’s largest social network for adults, AdultFriendFinder.com could be just the site for you to meet someone for FWB dating. It’s a safe and easy-to-use site for those who are looking for a sexual connection with someone. Maybe it’s a longer friends with benefits situation, or it might be a one-time fling. There are plenty of interesting options available through this site, and it could be worth checking out.

Fling.com

Those who aren’t looking for anything serious and who are just looking for sex will want to consider this site. Just as the name suggests, it’s perfect for flings whether it’s a long-term affair, FWB, or just a one-night stand.

The site is free to join, it’s easy to use, and it’s optimized for mobile. Additionally, there is a profile review team that helps to ensure it’s a safe site to use.

NoStringsAttached.com

As you could glean from this site’s name, it’s for discreet connections with no expectations. The site has been in business for more than 14 years and getting started is easy. You can meet people in your area and potentially set up an FWB dating situation.

Difference Between No Strings Attached and One-Night Stands

What about no strings attached dating or one-night stands? What makes them different from friends with benefits dating? What makes them similar?

For starters, friends with benefits will usually be between two people who get to know one another on one of the FWB sites. They become friends (or at least acquaintances) and then set up the rules of their relationship, often based on some of the rules mentioned above. In some cases, although it can lead to problems as mentioned, it could be between people who already know one another.

No strings attached (NSA) dating is often just someone that you meet either online or offline. You don’t have any sort of friendship or attachment to the person. You are attracted to them, and you get together occasionally to have sex, nothing more. There is no expectation of friendship as there might be with a friends with benefits situation. However, NSA does have more similarities to FWB than one-night stands have.

A one-night stand (ONS) is quite a bit different. In these cases, there’s a good chance you will never see the other person again. It’s meant to be a single night of pleasure and nothing more. You don’t develop a friendship with the person. You can consider it a “one and done” experience in most cases.

Should You Consider Friends with Benefits?

Friends with benefits dating can work out well for some people, but it really does take a certain level of maturity to work. You have to remember that you aren’t technically with the other person. You are not their significant other. You are someone they have sex with and maybe hang out with from time to time. Maybe you’re even great friends, but you happen to have sex.

This means when setting up this type of an arrangement, you really have to pay attention to the rules listed above. There cannot be jealousy at all, as these types of arrangements fall apart at the first hint of jealousy and feelings beyond friendship.

Always make sure you think fully through any FWB relationship you might be considering. They can work and can be a lot of fun for the time being. However, these types of relationships can’t work forever. Eventually, someone moves on.

To be honest, it’s generally better not to keep hanging out with the other person after the friends with benefits relationship has ended. Of course, we’re all different, and you might not have any issues. It’s just something you want to be aware of when getting into these sorts of relationships. Just be prepared.