You got your match, now what? The first message, of course! But what to write?
If you’re looking for first message examples, we’ve gathered some of the best!
When sending a first message (online dating examples—not first texts to someone), it’s important to stand out from the crowd. Or at the very least—say something better than the guy or gal who just says “hello.”
Just imagine—whoever is popular on a dating app will get enough messages to cover a wall in their bedroom. And people tend to be a lot more willing to swipe right than they are to engage in a conversation.
Swiping is one thing—it’s easy. Engaging requires time. And for anyone to invest their time, an incentive is needed. So, if the first message strikes them as interesting or fun, they’ll reply. If not…
Just imagine: They’re on the fence…the images are a maybe, but the bio is nice. If the first message is as intriguing as the bio, they’ll interact. But if the first message is bland, then they won’t feel compelled to answer.
So without further ado, let’s have a look at some first message examples.
Something that makes people laugh is always a good first message. Of course, you don’t know their sense of humor yet, so go for something general.
“We’re a match! Should I get the champagne out and start preparing the wedding speech? Or maybe we should just start by getting to know each other… ;) ”
“There I am swiping left, left, left…till I fear I’m going to need surgery due to swiping related injuries, and then, there you are!!! Thank you for stopping me from swiping left one more time!” [Read: 50 Cute Things to Say to Your Girlfriend to Make Her Heart Melt]
“Contrary to popular belief, men can multitask. But when I saw your profile I actually stumbled. I am contemplating hiring a lawyer and suing your for the injuries I obtained… ;)”
Something in Common
If you have something in common with them, let them know! This is one of the fastest ways of building rapport with someone. Be it that you work in the same field, have been to the same country on vacation, or have a love of riding rollercoasters—it doesn’t matter what it is, so long as it’s something positive.
Have a look through their photos and bio to see if there’s anything the two of you have in common.
“I see you know how to ride down a slope in style! What’s your favorite place to go skiing? I love Magic Mountain.”
“Is that you in Madrid in one of the photos? I love that city! I’ve been there three times!”
“You’re the first person I’ve seen on here that also rides a Harley! What’s your favorite route to ride?”
“I see you’re also into yoga. Any favorite practices? I love Hatha Yoga—challenges me every time!”
“You seem as adventurous as I am! What would you be doing right now if you could do anything, anywhere in the world”
Sometimes some funny, or random, questions are just right for getting the conversation going. Something quirky and a bit different. Definitively more fun than, “How are you?” [Read: 60 Funny And Flirty Questions You Can Ask Girls]
They say all women love chocolate. So are you:
- a) a dark chocolate kinda girl
- b) milk chocolate all the way baby
- c) white is right
- d) forget the chocolate—I like caramel—sweet, salty and so much better when paired with ice cream
So if we ever get together and spend Sunday mornings doing nothing and eating the best breakfast in town, what should I serve you?
- a) pancakes, pancakes and more pancakes
- b) mimosas till sundown
- c) a traditional British fry up
- d) nothing but the coffee
- e) smoothies and juices all the way baby!
Thanks for the match! Now, to get to know you a little bit better, do you…
- a) prefer mountains or beaches
- b) sunsets or sunrises
- c) ice cream or smoothies
- d) creamy coffees or black as the night
Hey Z, Sundays are important. So what are your Sunday morning priorities?
- a) Netflix
- b) Gym, yoga, or hiking
- c) Snoozing and cuddling till noon and then brunch or farmer’s market
- d) Whatever adventure lands on my doorstep that morning together with a double espresso
See a profile you like? Compliment them on it! Just make sure it’s genuine and about more than their looks. Good looking people know they’re good looking. And while they will want to feel attractive if they’re dating you (i.e. know you’re madly attracted to them), you have to ensure they know you’re crazy about their personality, too.
“OMG, you’re the winner of quirkiest profile. Ever. I love it! So tell me, is that fur baby of yours loving wearing that pink unicorn outfit as much as I think it is? :)“
“Smartest profile I’ve seen in a while! I love it. [insert question about something relating to the profile.]” [Read: Awesome! 100 Reasons Why I Love You]
“You’re officially the winner of the funniest profile I’ve ever seen on here. Congratulations! Tell me, how does it feel to be awarded this prize?”
“You’re officially the winner of the cleverest profile I’ve ever seen on here. As the winner, I’ll buy you a drink. Tell me your favorite poison and I will get you a glass/cup of it!”
“Man, that’s one awesome quote you’ve got on your profile! I love it. Nice to see someone with a brain on here (and your smile is pretty dope, too!) Who is your favorite person to quote? (If you have one!)”
“That’s a great quote. Nice to see someone with a sense of humor on here. Who’s your favorite comedian?”
A GIF is a great way to break the ice. If it’s funny, that is.
If you wanna up your game, send a GIF and a follow-on question. By asking questions, you open the conversation. Just a GIF may be funny, but that doesn’t really give the other person something to reply to.
Questions are winners because they lead to a conversation. However, lame questions will just as easily have you landing at the bottom of the pile of dating messages. “How are you?” is about as boring as a message can be.
You’ll see in the examples above there were already questions woven into the messages. Another way to start off messaging is to play games surrounding questions.
“LOVE your profile! So…let’s get to know each other! ;) How about a game of two truths and a lie? I’ll go first… I’ve scored more goals for my soccer team than anyone else on the team, I can do one handed handstands, I once met with the British Queen. Your turn!”
“What an intriguing profile! Would love to get to know you…so how about we play a game of ten questions…any questions…and we must reply truthfully… You game? If so…what’s one superpower you’d love?”
Other quirky, fun and intelligent questions include:
- What are three things you cannot live without?
- Who are your ten dream guests (dead or alive) for a dinner party?
- If you could do anything for planet Earth (and the animals and humans on it), what would it be?
- I’m your genie…what are your three wishes? (I’m not yet sure they’ll be my command, I’m careful like that… ;)
- Who were your mentors/inspiration when growing up?
- One thing you totally did not expect from adult life when growing up?
- Who would you hire for a private concert if you could hire anyone?
- Who’s your favorite comedian?
Note that while “sexy" questions can be fun, you better wait with those till you’ve met up in real life. Unless, of course both of you are looking for hookups only!