Alright, it takes chemistry for a guy to fall in love with you. We can’t help you there—you either have it or you don’t. However, the kind of chemistry that exists between two people who flirt with each other can be learned. Personal chemistry exists because you fit—emotionally, physically, sexually, spiritually and intellectually. But as any pickup guru will tell you—getting people to fall for you also has to do with social skills.
Some people get offended that there are things beyond their shining soul that makes people fall in love. However, look at what a class in people skills does for a shy person. People react differently when you interact with them differently. If someone says please and thank you, you react differently than if they didn’t. Yet, who they truly are didn’t change.
If you have a willingness to learn good people skills, dating will become easier. What makes a man fall for you, by the end of the day, is your personality. However, if you scare him off because you don’t know how to interact (and send him ten texts a minute), he won’t see that personality.
So without further ado, here are some tips of how to make a guy fall in love with you.
1. Fill Your Diary
A full diary offers two benefits.
First of all, if you fill your diary with things that enrich your life, you become happier and more interesting. Both which are traits men adore.
Secondly, by filling your diary you ensure you won’t obsess about one guy and become desperate.
A man you just met is less important than your work. Your friends. Your time at the gym. Your career goals. Your family. Why? Because he’s new. You don’t know how much effort he will put into dating you yet, nor if his personality is as shining as it appears at first sight.
By filling your diary with good things, you’ll be less likely to sit around waiting for a text. Nor will you be available twenty-four seven for dates. Challenge yourself to finish a task at work before you reply to a text. Don’t rearrange your diary for a date night—make space for it, yes, but don’t make it your primary concern.
By putting your diary before the new guy, you will take time to get to know him before you fall head over heels. In turn, he will know that you have standards and that he’ll have to work to become an important part of your life. What’s more, he’ll be happy to know someone who is living a happy and fulfilled life.
2. Try To Date More Than One Man
Cindy Lu makes a great point in her book “The Four Man Plan.” She suggests that women, particularly those who get attached too soon, date four men at any one time. While that may be taking things too far, it’s true that women often get carried away in pink cloud before they get to know someone and end up disappointed if things don’t pan out. Women also tend to ignore signs a guy isn’t great because they want to get lost in a high of hormones. [Read: 11 Tips for Breaking Up with Your Boyfriend]
Filling your diary with things that make your life better is the first step to avoiding this. Keeping yourself open to dating other men before you become exclusive with someone is the second. Don’t close your Bumble or Tinder account after one date with someone. Keep looking. Keep chatting with others. That way, you’ll minimize your risk of falling head over heels too soon and, also, ensure you don’t get disappointed if things go south.
Plus, by dating others, you’re less likely to appear desperate, or clingy. Men also love knowing that the woman they’re dating is attractive to others. It will make them fight for you more.
3. Build Your Confidence and See Things Positively
Yes, you lost all your income in 2022, but you learned valuable lessons. Your learned to value those who were there for you. You learned to forge a path where none existed. You learned to fight for yourself. You made it through stronger and better. What’s more, you learned to focus on what’s working. When your finances collapsed, you suddenly became grateful for the things you could still enjoy. A good meal. The laughter of friends. A nice beach. Birdsong. [Read: 8 Signs You’re Falling for Them]
You’re still angry and upset at times—you’re human. But you’ve learned and grown in ways you could not have imagined before shit hit the fan.
This is a very nice way to say you’re penniless at the moment. It’s also a very nice exercise in building your confidence—you’re seeing yourself from a positive perspective. If you manage to focus on your wins every day, you will become a more confident, positive, and happy person. Chances are, you’ll also start having a lot more wins.
Both confidence and a positive outlook are two things men find attractive and let him fall in love with you.
4. Learn About Body Language
Leaning slightly forward and uncrossing your arms and legs indicates you’re interested in what someone’s saying.
Matching and mirroring someone’s body language indicates you’re bonding with them (and happens unconsciously—observe yourself next time you’re in a conversation with someone whom you like speaking with). [Read: How to Ask a Girl Out Over Text on a Date]
Walking with a straight back and having a firm handshake, as well as maintaining eye contact for a good part of the conversation, indicates you’re confident.
Tapping the table, looking around the room, crossing your arms and legs, and leaning away from the speaker, all signal that you aren’t interested in what’s being said.
Body language is a big topic, but sufficient to say it’s a great topic to learn about before going on a date with someone. Not only because you can take charge of what you’re communicating to your date, but because you can interpret what they’re communicating to you. If you lose their interest with a topic, you’ll notice it. If you’re coming on too strong, you’ll see their discomfort.
Putting a hand on your leg, twirling your hair, and licking your lips, can also signal other, more hot things…
5. Learn To Hold Great Conversations
Dating will be more fun if you know how to hold a good conversation.
What makes a man fall in love? One of the most important part of a good conversation is learning to listen. Don’t analyze what’s being said, or think about your reply, just listen. Ask if you understood your date properly by repeating back parts of what was said. Ask follow-on questions. Pay attention. Show your interest. [Read: Interesting and Funny First Message Examples]
For more tips on listening, you can google “active listening.”
Another important part of conversing is asking good questions. In another blog we talked about conversation starters on dating apps and suggested playing “ten questions.” You can do the same in real life. Great questions include:
- Have you ever lived in another city/country? If so, where?
- What’s your favorite childhood memory?
- What’s one place you really want to visit?
- What’s one experience you really want to have before you die?
- Do you have any role models? If so, who?
- What’s a superpower you’d love to have?
- If you had three wishes that could be granted, what would they be?
- What’s the best gift you ever got from someone?
- Who, dead or alive, would you invite to a dinner party for ten?
- Have you ever considered moving to another city/country? If so, where?
- What do you see yourself doing ten years from now?
- What’s your dream career goal?
- Who did you have a celebrity crush on in your teens?
- What’s your favorite song lyrics? (Or three, if you can’t choose one!)
- What artist would you like a private concert from?
- Do you do anything arty/creative?
- Are you into some outdoor sports?
- What’s one thing that frightens you?
- What’s one thing that makes you feel safe?
- What’s one thing you want to learn, but haven’t?
- What’s your favorite love story (in a book or movie)?
- Do you have a favorite restaurant? If not, a favorite dish?
Again, remember to focus on the positive when asked questions. Don’t dodge the truth, but put it forward in an appealing manner. Instead of berating your bad sides, be honest about them and joke about them. Or tell the other person what you’ve learned thanks to them.
6. Compliment Them
While you shouldn’t shower someone in compliments, saying something nice about them every time you see them is a great idea. They need to feel appreciated. Both for their looks, their personality, their hotness and the things you do when together. If he opens the door, compliment him on doing so. If he has an interesting career, compliment him on how interesting it is and how far he’s come. If he looks great in those jeans, tell him so. [Read: 10 Great First Date Topics for Captivating Conversations]
A man will feel like a king when you compliment him often.
7. Apply Positive Reinforcement
Sooner or later, you’ll want to nag. Don’t. Ask for what you want in plain English and explain why it’s important to you. If he doesn’t care about a messy house, he won’t care about making a mess in your house. You have to make him understand why a tidy house matters to you.
What’s more, when he does things you appreciate, praise him for it. If he kept your house clean, kiss him and thank him. Profusely. He will remember to do it again, because he’ll want that kind of thanks!
8. Use the Five Love Languages
How to make a guy fall in love with you? After dating someone for a while, they’ll ask themselves if they feel that you appreciate them. Care about them. Show them affection. Yet, chances are they haven’t told you how they want you to show affection.
Enter the five love languages. A concept developed by Gary Chapman. He believes humans need to be loved in five different ways to feel loved. And that most people have one or two main love languages. For example, you might feel loved when your partner spends quality time with you. He, on the other hand, might feel loved when you give him gifts.
To find out about the five love languages and how to use them, you can also do a quiz there to find out about your love language so you don’t have to buy the book to learn about it! [Read: How to Make the First Move on a Guy?]
If you can, get your date to do the quiz, too.
And if you’re playing around on a date, you might want to have him do the 16 personalities test, too. It can give you valuable clues to his inner workings. In fact, you’ll see on apps like Bumble and Tinder that people often put down what they got on that test (INTP, ENTP, etc.).
Likewise, Sandy Gerber’s emotional magnet test shows what drives people in life—and helps you understand them better.
Knowing who he is will help you show up in a way he appreciates.
9. Steam It Up
Whether through innuendo, compliments, or flirting, you need to indicate that you’re interested in something physical. Otherwise, you’ll end up friend zoned.
When the time is right, place your hand on his thigh, squeeze his bicep, tell him he’s looking hot tonight, or text him to tell you that your’e going to bed—thinking about him. Don’t go faster than you want to, but show him there’s physical attraction there. He needs to feel it to be able to fall for you.