Not really sure what you should be texting your FWB in-between your meet-ups? Well, here are some tips what to text (and what NOT to text) during the days leading up to your next “date”. Spoiler: they have a lot to do with sex. Obviously.
Things to Text Your FWB:
1. Your preferences
A great way to make use of the time not fucking each other senseless is by letting them know what exactly you’re into. Doing so during or right before sex can catch them off-guard, and if they haven’t prepared for it (for stuff like anal or fisting), it can lead to some pretty awkward moments.
Since your relationship revolves around sex, don’t be afraid to talk about everything you’re into. It’s okay to let them know that you’ve got a massive roleplay fetish or a thing for teacher outfits. Conversely, ask them about what they want to try out, and what they’re into as well, so that you can have more satisfying sex the next time around.
2. Your schedules
This may sound like an obvious tip, but there are plenty of people who are terrible at letting others know about their schedule. In any FWB relationship, schedule-setting is very important, so be sure to let your friend know if any sudden appointments pop up so they can adjust accordingly.
3. Whatever you talked about before your FWB relationship
It’s called “Friends With Benefits” because you were friends beforehand, right? Then there should be no real problem in acting like buddies over text. There’s no reason to just stop acting like platonic friends just because you’ve banged. Just talk like you normally would to them if they were just regular friends, and you should be good.
What NOT to Text About:
1. Intimate topics, such as love
Remember, your FWB isn’t your therapist (unless they literally are, which is pretty amazing honestly). You shouldn’t be looking for relationship advice from someone you regularly have sex with, as the intimacy that comes with these topics can affect the dynamic of the relationship. Worst-case scenario, you can even end up misunderstanding things with your partner, which can prematurely end your FWB relationship.
2. Getting to know them more
This is more of an on-the-fence topic, but generally, you should avoid trying to get to know them more, unless you’re certain you won’t develop feelings for one another. Even casual small talk can create some form of attachment. It’s best to leave things as-is and limit the relationship to how well you knew each other before becoming FWBs.
3. Your other relationships (especially other FWBs if you have them)
Just because you have sex with them doesn’t mean that you have to share everything about your sex life. This is especially true if you’ve been seeing anyone aside from them. Sure, there’s a good chance that they brush it off, since they probably couldn’t care less. But other people can end up overthinking when they learn that you’ve been seeing other people, so it’s best to play it safe and avoid those topics in general.
How to Set Yourself Up for a Long-Term FWB Relationship
Let’s say that you’ve just found the friend with benefits of your dreams. They’re hot, are great in bed, and have exactly the same kinks and fetishes as yours. You meet more than once a week, and their schedule lines up with yours almost perfectly. They’ve got everything you’d want in a fuck buddy, and since you’ve known them for a while already, you know you’re compatible in a platonic way.
With this big of a catch, you’re probably already thinking about how you can prolong your relationship for as long as possible. But knowing that FWB relationships aren’t meant to last, you aren’t sure what to do. Luckily, we’re here to help. Here are some tips we have that’ll keep your FWB relationship going until one of you finds a real romantic partner.
1. Try spacing out your “sessions”
It can be tempting to look for every available date to fuck your brains out whenever you start an FWB relationship, especially when they’re perfectly compatible with you. But like good food, you’re better off savoring the experience before eating them out (pun intended).
Meeting more than twice a week may sound fun at first, but if sex is all you do (which is what you should only be doing), then it can quickly get boring after a while. Spacing out your sessions will make it more interesting in the long-term.
2. Always try out new positions
Good ol’ missionary sex not doing it for you anymore? Learn to switch up the fun as much as you can, so that every meetup is a new, exciting experience. Doggystyle, anal, and even the more intense positions like the throat-fucking can be game-changers. We personally recommend buying a copy of the Karma Sutra and blindly picking a random page, then following whatever you end up with. Think of the Wheel of Fortune, but sexier.
3. Throw in kinks and fetishes to the mix
Changing the way you thrust your dick or suck a cock can go a long way, but ultimately that can get boring after a while, too, since we humans can never get truly satisfied. So, if your partner’s willing, try out some of those fetishes that you’ve awakened back in college.
Got a thing for BDSM? Bring a pair of handcuffs and a blindfold as a start. Does roleplay turn you on? Tell them to bring whatever clothes they’ve got that can fulfill your fantasies. And be sure to ask what kinds of fetishes they’re into as well, so that they get to enjoy, too.
4. Remember that your relationship will ultimately end
Alas, there’s a reason why “long-term friends with benefits relationship” isn’t really a thing in the first place. They’re not meant to last - some just last longer than others. By coming to terms with the fact that you’ll be ending your relationship eventually, you’ll get to enjoy what you have right now a lot more, and you won’t have to deal with worrying about it anymore.